By the time syndrome

Happy new year to you all. This is my first post since the year 2020 began. I have been writing for less than a year now and I feel like my heart is full. I have always wanted to start my own blog and write my heart and mind out but I kept postponing for almost five years. Finally, on 20th October 2019 I made a decision to begin and look at me now. I’m still here and still falling in love with what I do.

“By the time I’m 25, I want to be married, financially stable, living in my own house and driving my own car.”, we all had these thoughts at some point in our lives.

Probably not the exact same words but you have suffered from ‘by the time syndrome’ at one point of your life. This can cause a lot of anxiety and unnecessary worry especially to those in the youth bracket. We all want to have achieved certain milestones in our lives within a specific time but most of the times things don’t go our own way but His own way. We begin to question ourselves and consider ourselves as failures. This happens especially when you begin comparing your own life to somebody else’s life especially in this age of social media, life comparison is real.

By the time we complete our college or university studies we all want jobs as the next thing in our lives. But what happens at times? We find ourselves having stayed home without any hope of employment coming our way for 3, 5, 7 or even for more than ten years. Reality begins to hit us hard and we begin to feel like everything is falling apart. What we fail to realize is the lesson we are supposed to pick from such hard situations. Have you ever sat and looked back and wondered how you were able to triumph through a very difficult point in your life and you can’t really seem to understand? At that time, it all looks like a miracle to you yet the truth is you survived and you are still surviving. Have you listened to Whitney Houston’s I didn’t know my own strength?

We want to have found our life partners by a certain age. We want them to look and behave in a certain way. We want them to be financially stable and promise us heaven and earth. Sometimes we meet our dream partners and then things fall apart and we are left in a dilemma. This can be a daunting experience. Let’s just say when God writes your love story it will be a beautiful story. Don’t fall into pressure, get married to the wrong person, part ways, file for divorce and fall into depression just because you fell for ‘by the time syndrome.’ This is not meant to point fingers or judge those who have been separated or divorced but just to emphasize the point of thinking through things before making major life decisions.

Throughout 2020, throughout the new decade, throughout our lives, let’s not fall victims of the epidemic called ‘by the time syndrome.’ Let’s do things that give us inner joy and peace us opposed to doing things to please other people. I don’t believe there’s a timeline for an achievement on this planet because we all don’t know how long we are going to live. Nobody knows. It’s upon us to enjoy the precious time we have and leave a memorable legacy.


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